Even Pardise can feel Lonely...

Th past few days have been hard. While i know i am here for a reason, the reason has been somewhat undefined... and now somewhat revealed. Many of my friends have finished school and have returned home... leaving me by myself. I do have a few friends left that are in my 10 week program, but its not the same. Paradise is easy when you have plenty of people to share it with, but even Pardise can feel lonely. I began missing home more and more lately, but full knowing it is not home that i miss, its the contact with my friends and family. While in a lull, it is easy for the mind to run amok. And then it occured to me... the first true purpose of this trip is to become completely comfortable by myself.
I have always been "a social butterfly" as my mother calls it, filling my time with friends, and when no one was around, anything to keep myself busy. I have no idea how to just... be. The stress of school, and the overwhelming feeling of loneliness wreaked havoc on my body the past week, with headaches, unrestful sleep, and emotional outbursts. How can i possibly feel so all alone??... but it has dawned on me that i am never really alone, for Divine is always closer than my breath. My first true purpose is to cultivate the relationship within so that i can be compfortable when there is no one else around... beacuse there is always God. While the presence of Divine is always easy to feel when times are good, it is even more important to focus on that presence when things are, well, shitty. How can i ever truely help others if i cannot first help myself? First i must learn how to nuture myself from the Divine within...
Everyone gets lonely sometimes, me especially, but we are never truely alone. When it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and there is no one to pass it off to, just remember that there is always God. We are not meant to ever go through life alone... even when there is no one in sight... because Divine is within and always present. It is only now that i feel i can continue on my path of enlightment, because even though no one walks besides me, God is always inside of me.